This has to be the hardest thing I have ever written. But here goes. I am fat. I am fat enough that if I became pregnant I would be bed ridden. Now there are other factors to this, the discs in my back and my injuries from my past car accidents. yes that is with an s at the end. So here is my story. I know that this is going to be posted to facebook automatically, and I only hope that I get support and not drama.
I was always chubby in school, never wore jeans and was made fun of. a lot. I was pushed, and had to be in a cast. I had a tutor for awhile and when I went to high school I never ate in the cafeteria. As a matter of fact in my senior year all I needed was gym to graduate to I left everyday before lunch. I went to college at night and held down a part time job. I also took care of my dad who was legally blind so my mom could work. I was busy, but still fat. Gym. What a joke. I was petrified every day and hated it. especially swimming. It is not fair.
When I graduated high school I got a job as a manager and loved it. but I was still overweight. I tried every thing. Then I got laid off, and got a job at Best Buy. I was 18. it was 2000. I was there for the grand opening, and there were so many guys that worked there and shopped there! However I was still the chubby kid. Yes I had friends, that to this day I love like family, You know who you guys are (hugs). So I started dating my hubby (that story I have already told lol) and we married after a year. He makes me feel like me. not overweight me. He helped me change jobs to a supervisor spot that I loved. I was happy! So happy that I lost weight. Not a lot, but enough to notice the difference.
We were living 6 houses up from my parents in a duplex that the landlord would not fix (leaking tub into cabinets, leaking basement, etc) and she came into our place when we were and were not home.
So we decided to buy a house. The minute I saw my house, I loved it. I had to have it. It was mine. Who cares that it needed a new roof? pfft. Well after a few nights of crying and showing my Italian temper, they met our demands! Yay !! I had the house of my dreams and loved my job, and was completely in love. I tended to exercise more and be more active, a little bit more weight came off. I was even doing Yoga (along to comcast on demand). The night we closed on our house, my sister and I were on our way to her house to walk her dogs, and get cleaning supplies. We were hit by a drunk driver who had a weapon in his car, at a dui checkpoint in the rain, right by the on ramp near East Catholic high school. My sister had just had her son a week or so before, and was transported by body board to the ambulance to the hospital. I have never been so scared in my whole life. I jammed my wrist and have a broken bone in my wrist. I also have a T11 T12 disc in my back. I got laid off and had no income. With a mortgage payment. Enter depression. and PAIN. the pain at times was unbearable. I can remember laying on the floor in my new house in pain and not moving. there was no furniture, and they were putting on the new roof.
I gained more weight that I care to even think about. The on Mother's day of the same year My hubby and I were leaving my sister's house at 2am and his car stalled. He pulled over and was looking under the hood when a drunk driver totalled the whole left side of his car and through the small slit (when the hood in open) I saw my husband go flying across the car into the grass. I thought he was dead. I called my mom and was too scared to get out of the car. The hood slammed shut, and if he didn't jump and dive, the hood would have taken off his head. I reinjured my back and got a disc in my upper back/neck. This was a hit and run. On his way home drunk from all stars. Before my mom got there a man knocked on my door, and said he followed the man home, because he too thought that my husband was killed. He was our guardian angel. God bless him. He was on his way home to relieve the babysitter, by the time the police came he was late, but he still showed the police so they could arrest him.
I went to the hospital and had to wait for them to treat the guy that hit us. we sat in the waiting room with his parents. I took a pregnancy test and had pregnancy hormones, but the accident had caused me to bleed, and I lost the baby. Then they could do x-rays.
What do you do when you cannot use your back, legs or arms do to pain? you gain more weight. It has been years now, and I was disabled at 25. How sad is that. I was a baby. and that is why I had to tell my story. One of my new year resolutions was to lose weight. I want to hold myself accountable. I have been given the opportunity to try a weight lose program. It is time I go for it!
I am going to be doing a 1200 calorie Hcg diet. The info is here http://www.hcg1234.com/
I hope to weigh 200 pounds or less in 90 days. There is a 90 weight challenge that I hope others will join with me. Check it out here http://www.creativebioscience.com/90-day-weight-loss-challenge.html
I chose the Hcg diet because I was a vegetarian for 15 years and can control what I eat for 90 days. I hope. I can do this.
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