Uncle Neddy's Funeral
by L.M. Pampuro
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GENRE: Suspense
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BLURB:
Giuseppe
Vittorio Vaffanculo, a.k.a. Neddy, is not a bad person, he just holds himself
in high praise. Neddy is the perfect target for Rayleigh O’Connor, member of an
underworld organization and soon to be Ms. Neddy number five. As part of the
Vaffanculo-Cuzzuto clan, Neddy is the perfect mark Rayleigh needs to avenge the
death of a comrade by killing Victor Cuzzuto.
All Victor Cuzzuto wants to do is finally retire to the beach, spend time with his family, and hand over the reins of his Federal Investigation branch office to his protégée, Bruno.
Uncle Neddy’s Funeral - The King Of Bad Decisions.
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Excerpt One:
Neddy took in a deep breath of air. A violent cough
followed. Surrounded by darkness, he had zero perception, which, for him, was
fortunate. His arms touched the silky sides, as did his legs. He tried
stretching his feet to the end. It figured, where he didn’t need it or couldn’t
use it, he had the space. His breath bounced back from the top. He could smell
mama’s tomato sauce from breakfast. Leftover gnocchi and eggs made the perfect
meal to get him through the day. With each exhale his heart skipped.
About an hour ago, the air became lighter, best he could
tell. The stench had to be from his exhales. He tried not to smell, breathe.
Leave it to Joe and Victor to come up with a plan that involved a disgusting
odor. Those two could fill a room after one of mama’s meals. Not that mama’s
meals were gassy, it’s just those two needed no incentives to let one loose.
Neddy’s laughter broke into a coughing fit.
“Ah, minor inconvenience,” he said. In the distance, he
could hear hushed voices yet couldn’t make out the conversation. The voices
grew louder as Neddy assumed, people came closer.
“Be careful with this one,” Victor’s brogue came through
clearly.
“Why boss,” another voice spoke. “Ya think he can feel
anything?” Laughter filled the room. Neddy strained to hear the paused
conversation. A couple of awkward coughs filled the space.
“Just be careful,” Ah, Victor used his I am in charge voice.
Neddy knew the tone. His crew isn’t following directions. Neddy smirked. “Think
of this as precious cargo.” Footsteps followed, growing weaker by the clank.
“I think the boss is getting weird”
“In what way?”
“Well he’s worried about a corpse.” Neddy smiled. He curved
his temptation to knock. As funny as he thought it would be to make whoever
jump at the sound, he knew better. Victor Cuzzuto would kill him.
“Victor got his job. Our job is to move the sucker.”
“Well, if Victor had finished the last job we wouldn’t be
here, now would we?”
“Not our problem.”
“When will the old guy retire…” Neddy banged into the side
of the casket. His head bounced off the top.
“Ouch!” he exclaimed as he bit into his hand. The casket
stopped moving.
“You hear something boss?”
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AUTHOR Bio and Links:
L.M. Pampuro is the author of five novels: Dancing With Faith,
Maximum Mayhem, The Perfect Pitch, Passenger – the only game in town, and Uncle
Neddy’s Funeral. (All available at Amazon.com)
She is an avid skier, loves dancing to live music, and possess a
warped sense of humor
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GIVEAWAY
L.M.
Pampuro will be awarding a $25 Amazon or Barnes and Noble GC to a randomly
drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.
Thanks for hosting!
ReplyDeleteThis looks great!😍 Thank you for hosting!😍
ReplyDeleteWhat kinds of books do you like to read? Thanks for the giveaway. I hope that I win. Bernie W BWallace1980(at)hotmail(d0t)com
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the tour and thanks for the chance to win :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing the great excerpt!
ReplyDelete