Saturday, March 23, 2013

FREE!!!! Pirates of Danube by David J. Schmidt!!!

You read correctly, friend--that hot erotica novel, that capsule of condensed sexuality and nakedity known by the title "Pirates of the Danube", will be available for FREE for your e-reader for two days.
On Passover / Palm Sunday weekend, March 23 and 24, you can download the e-book version of this book FOR FREE on Kindle.
Just go to the Kindle store and download the book, free of cost, any time this weekend: ebook/dp/B009479CH2/ref=la_B00BXTBY7K_1_1_title_0_main?ie=UTF8&qid=1363839422&sr=1-1
You will be on the edge of your well-soiled seat, dear reader, as you enjoy the sensual adventures of Pepper MacOralby, Baron Von Hugenstein, and the young doctor Sigmund Freud.

Here's what folks are already saying about "Pirates of the Danube":
“This man is illiterate.”
-Gary Shteyngart, legitimate East Coast author
“Thank you for contacting the White House. We apologize for not being able to respond to every letter with a personalized response.”
-Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States
“Schmidt has breathed new life into the classic ‘slutty American novel’…”
-Anna Marie Cortez, former Kinko’s employee
“David Schmidt writes books by women, for women.”
-Alejandra Cordova, woman
“You’ll read this book, if you know what’s good for you.”
Biff Chode, local thug

My Review:
Omg, I am still laughing. This was the funniest book I have ever read. Seriously. The puns were right on cue and were perfectly timed. From character names to the descriptions of Pepper's surroundings. Every word was in this book for a reason. At only 58 pages long it can be reread multiple times. The book itself was well written and the plot was fun to read as well. My favorite movie is "Clue", and this is the type of comedy I found in this story. I would love for the author to write parodies of other popular written works.
There is sex in the story and I still consider it erotica. Even though there are funny moments!
What I liked best were the song references in this story. Like the puns they were on cue and appropriate. They were written into the story as though they only belonged in the story and were never part of a song at all. I caught a few and hope I didn't miss any! I am giving this story a 5/5 because I can not rate it any higher. I recommend getting your free copy the 23rd or 24th before it'd too late!   
I will be reading anything this author writes!
Here's the facebook invite for the event of the book giveaway.
 David J. Schmidt is a freelance writer and self-described “Huguenot” living in San Diego, CA. He was conceived in a fireworks factory at some point between 1970 and 1985. After a gestation period of unknown duration, Schmidt was born to the world of Man, only to be swiftly adopted into the world of Beast some days later. The pack of wolves that raised Schmidt during his formative years was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honour by U.S. President George W. Bush, shortly after he delivered his fated “Mission Accomplished” speech. Schmidt has received various recognitions for his charitable contributions toward the preservation of Peyronie’s Disease. In 2004, he was granted knighthood by the Basque Republic, becoming Sir David J. Schmidt for the following three years. The title was stripped from him by the United Nations Council on Fallacious Royal Families in 2007. Schmidt lives with his beloved ex-wife of 14 years, his two cats, and his indentured servant.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for your lovely review!
    Remember, gang, the book is free for download this weekend only.